The Quintessential Festival Survival Guide

With Download Festival 2014 kicking off this Friday, the world-renowned UK festival season is fast approaching and this year- as does every other- will see a whole new generation of first-time festival-goers make their debut.

Up until this time last year, I was a festival virgin. As much as I was excited (I mean hell yeah I was missing school for a week!), I was also nervous. I’d never even been camping before and everything I’d heard about festivals before was pretty grim. Unfortunately I can’t make it to Download this year as I have my final A2 level exams, but next time around I know which mistakes not to repeat offend from last year! If you're making your first festival visit this year, hopefully this short guide should help you out a bit.

1) Put your tent up before you go

Seriously. Practice putting your tent up at least a week before you go. You've got to sleep in this thing for three nights or so, and when you put it up for for real you're probably going to have already had quite a few drinks and it's only going to be even more difficult if you have no fucking idea what you're doing. This way, you'll at least have some experience, which will help you to avoid arguments/begging your mates to let you squeeze in their tent. You'll also have a rough idea of how many people will be able to actually sleep in it (3 man does not mean 3 man when you have to accomodate Budweiser!)

2) Bring something comfy to sleep on

While not essential, it's a really good idea to invest in a cheap air bed or roll-up foam mattress from Ikea. Even if your tent keeps you warm and dry, there is literally nothing between you and the hard, uneven ground beneath you which can result in some pretty weird cramps. Last year I ended up turning all of my clothes into a mattress to try and avoid it and it still sucked. 

3) Toilet roll

Bringing toilet roll to a festival should really be second nature, yet there's always that one person in your group who forgets to bring any and ends up "borrowing" half of yours. Make sure you bring plenty, as you will need it. Nine times out of ten there will be no loo roll in the toilet, and if there is it's probably about as hygienic as using the loo roll in the toilet itself. Remember it's not just for the campsite too! Also take some in your pockets when you to go the arena!

4) Hand sanitiser

Again, this should be second nature. Whilst people do exaggerate how disgusting festival toilets are, they are still pretty fucking atrocious. There will be running water taps provided on camp, but this will do nothing in terms of germs, and you really don't want to be shovelling those extra greasy chips into your mouth alongside whatever the fuck you picked up from that toilet door.

5) Wet wipes

Stock up on these bad boys- they saved my life last year. You can't exactly bathe your entire body with them, but they're essential for the nasty bits (you know where I mean)! Being realistic, you really don't need to have a shower at a festival. It's either going to rain in which case the job is done, or it'll be so hot and sweaty you'll end up queueing for hours and missing that one band you really wanted to see. Besides, festival showers are shit anyway and the lack of them just makes you appreciate a proper shower once you return home. Wet wipes are also a pretty good alternative if you lose your hand sanitiser, and good for cleaning mud off of everything.

6) Forget fashion

In recent years it seems "festival season" has become somewhat of a fashion trend which consists of mostly florals and hot pants. But ladies, a muddy field full of shit is not a catwalk. Any regular festival goer will tell you it's important to bring appropriate clothing for all weather, and don't forget the essentials- that is, wellies, sunglasses and a hat, since your hair's probably going to look pretty minging. 

7) Dry shampoo

Another life saver. Your hair is going to be grimey. Particularly if it doesn't rain (fingers crossed though right?). Make sure you bring some as it's much easier and lighter to carry than actual shampoo and conditioner.

8) Keep your valuables on you at all times

It sucks to think that some of the lovely, drunk, generous people you meet at festivals could be potential criminals, but unfortunately tents do get raided. Whilst most people are probably only after a lighter or loo roll, they wouldn't say no to an iPhone if they just happened to find one. Make sure you keep your phones/cameras/purses on you at all times. It's actually a good idea to buy a cheap pay-as-you-go phone and just leave your smart phone at home (the battery will last a lot longer too).

9) Don't keep all your money in the same place

That being said, don't take all of your money to the arena with you. Make sure to take plenty of cash, but leave some hidden in different places in your tent. That was if some falls out your pocket, or your tent does get raided, you're not completely screwed.

10) Plan who you're going to see before you go

With so many stages and so many bands playing, its easy to get confused. Get together with your friends before you leave, and plan who's going to see who on what stage at what time on what day. Remember you're probably going to be drunk for 99% of the time, and remember how difficult it is to get everyone to agree on things and get to the same place in one piece whilst under the influence. Most festivals now also have apps which you can use to help plan out your days.

11) BOOZE

Bring beer, vodka, whiskey... whatever takes your fancy. Unless you're underage. Or straight edge. 

12) Snacks

The prices of food at festivals are extortionate. Last year I paid £10 for a slice of pizza, God knows how much they'll be this time around. It's pretty much guaranteed that you will run out of money, so make sure to bring plenty of light-weight snacks. Multipacks of crisps are great.

13) HAVE FUN

This is by far the most important thing. A festival in the UK really is a unique experience, and there's a very good reason why people continue to go year after year. Even if you do forget things or everything doesn't go according to plan, don't dwell on it and just make sure you have the time of your life with great people seeing great bands.

Live Review: Download Festival 2013 Sunday 16th June

It's the final day of Download this year and we may as well have relocated to Sweat Fest in Australia. The sun is shining, keeping everyone focused on the positives opposed to the fact that after tonight, the festival sadly ends for another year.

Finally playing again after their insane 2010 set was cut, Five Finger Death Punch [8/10] have had to promise not to influence crowd surfers to come and high-five frontman Ivan Moody in order to be allowed this slot. Nevertheless, everything is just as chaotic as fans chose to do it anyway, and Ivan goes out of his way to high-five everyone. Antics include him stealing a steward's hat and threatening another for not not letting him have a giant inflatable penis, henceforth the saga between Five Finger Death Punch and festival security continues. Aside from all this, their set music-wise is excellent. Fan favourites Under and Over It and The Way Of The Fist  provide an exhilarating reminder that the festival is far from over, and Ivan shows that he does in fact have a sensitive side by bringing several kids on stage so they'll be safe from the mosh pits, each of them enthusiastically raising their devil horns in the air to the delight of the crowd.

After such a a hectic show, everyone is anxious for more bedlam and the "olay olay olay Parkway" chants begin a good ten minutes before Parkway Drive [10/10] are even due on stage. Their entrance including the  group chants along to Sparks proves to be the calm before the storm, as as soon as Old Ghosts/New Regrets kicks in Donnington is torn to shreds. Several pits of people of all ages open straightaway, as whether you know the band or not you simply can't keep still to fast-paced songs like Idols and Anchors and Swing, which sees the entire front section turn into one gigantic circle pit. The singalong to their latest single, Wild Eyes, is enchanting and there are more people on other's shoulders during Home Is For The Heartless than there are with their own feet on the ground. At one point, they even encourage moshing by pushing a poor man dressed in a fox onesie around the stage. What's even better is how the whole band look genuinely grateful to be here; it's impossible not to smile along with vocalist Winston McCall and all the members put so much passion into their performance you wouldn't believe they weren't headliners. There is so much love for them here, and rightfully so. Not only do they provide plenty of opportunities to lose your shit pitting to strikingly heavy tracks like Sleepwalker and Deliver Me, but there are also mass singalongs to modern metal anthems such as Karma and Carrion. Parkway Drive put on an absolutely stunning show and set boundaries high for the remaining bands.

Australian classic rockers Airbourne [7/10] on the second stage are reminiscent of old AC/DC with their carefree, live-fast attitude and put on a decent performance. With vocalist Joel O'Keeffe running around mentally all over the place, it's hard to no where your attention is supposed to be focused. Live It Up and Runnin' Wild are especially crazy with outbursts of beach balls and fireworks, as well as Joel jumping off stage and literally performing in a field in the middle of nowhere. Emphasising their outlook on life even more, he also decides to cheekily have more than a few swigs from a bottle of wine while on stage. Whilst Airbourne put on a good and entertaining show, it's nothing groundbreaking.

It's a good thing then, that A Day To Remember [9/10] are considered one of the best live bands around, and they certainly don't disappoint. Over the years they've slowly made their way up the bill with their perfectly defined mix of hardcore and pop punk; both which go down a treat to a crowd like this. No resistance to tear the place up right from the start, the band get things going at full force with new super heavy track Violence (Enough is Enough), then follow it up with equally hectic 2nd Sucks. Crowd favourites All Signs Point to Lauderdale and Have Faith In Me are performed with tremendous passion and are met with awe-inspiring singalongs, whereas heavier tracks like My Life For Hire and Why Walk on Water When We've Got Boats receive monstrous circle pits in which the breakdown following "disrespect your surroundings" in Mr Highways Thinking About the End is particularly insane. Other highlights include an explosion of beach balls, free t-shirts being shot into the crowd, about 200 rolls of toilet paper and Jeremy McKinnon's beard.

Worn out but ready for one last monumental push, everyone waits in anticipation for Rammstein [10/10], who will be the final main stage headliners this year. However, as excited as everyone is, there's a sense of sadness in the air as they all know that when they walk off stage at the end of their set, it signifies the end of Download 2013. Luckily, the German metallers are quick to smash this sadness to pieces. With about fifty fireworks going off before they're even on stage, it's apparent that their show is going to unforgettable and no one dares question this as Till Lindemann is lowered onto the stage wearing a pink fluffy coat surrounded by burning flames. During their first song, Ich Tu Dir Weh, there's such an extensive use of pyrotechnics it's genuinely surprising that the stage is still in one piece. Then we even see Till daring to swing around gigantic sparklers, which is both breathtaking and terrifying to watch.

Throughout their set, there's an overload of the theatrics that Rammstein are famous for. Not only does this include a dangerous amount of fire and smoke, but Till spraying the audience with faux semen from a giant penis and the band coming on wearing gimp suits and miming having sex with each other. Considering all the chaos it doesn't really seem worth mentioning that musically they are also astonishing, as their heavy industrial metal combined with melodic symphonies and easy-to-learn chants means that the language barrier becomes irrelevant. It is still however incredible to hear the amount of people who actually know the words, especially during Du Hast and Bück Dich. During their encore of the appropriately named Pussy, the strength of pyrotechnics is doubled and Till rides around the stage on an even bigger penis. Clearly not wanting to overdo it, when the song finishes the band simply take a bow and thank the crowd in English for being "fucking amazing".

Overall, Rammstein provide an awesome ending to an awesome weekend and an excellent summary of all the drama and chaos. Although we're sad to see it over, it's safe to say that Download 2013 has been the best yet.

Live Review: Download Festival 2013 Saturday 15th June

It's the second day of Download 2013 and everyone's feeling great. Not just because they're hilariously drunk or the fact that Slipknot were unbelievable last night, but thankfully the weather's looking a lot brighter today.

Mid-afternoon at the Pepsi Max stage, recently-signed Heart Of A Coward [9/10] from Milton Keynes are preparing for the most important show of their career so far. Whilst clashing with Alice In Chains is going to make it difficult for them to reach a more metal-experienced fan base, they are met with deafening cheers by their few dedicated fans who have shown up, and it's not long until everyone else in the tent is joining in. With ease they get the whole crowd jumping and headbanging, vocalist Jamie Graham showing more aggression and hostility than many of the bigger bands. Eventually the tent is overflowing as people are tempted in by their unique sound, intelligent lyrics and stunningly heavy breakdowns. Around A Girl (In 80 Days) and Shade receive insanely positive reactions from the crowd, and when they play the track that signed them, Deadweight, the place shakes like a bomb has been dropped. If there's any justice in the world, Heart Of A Coward will be a lot higher on the lineup next year.

Following them are Bury Tomorrow [8/10] from Southampton, who are slowly working their way up to main stage with their catchy choruses and exceptional breakdowns. Adrenaline pulsing after Heart Of A Coward, the crowd looks like a tornado of band shirts, beanies and muddy wellies mere seconds into fan-favourite Lionheart. Vocalists Dan Winter-Bates and Jason Cameron barely let anyone pause for breath, influencing everyone to mosh like it's the last day of your life by comparing each side of the tent, and telling one that they're not doing it hard enough. This little competition results in riots during You & I and Royal Blood, as well as a sit down and jump up tribute to last night's headliners Slipknot. The thunderous crowd singalong to An Honourable Reign doesn't really seem worth mentioning after all the bedlam. With their refreshing sound, along with their uncanny enthusiasm, Bury Tomorrow show that the British metal scene is still very much alive.

Over at the Zippo Encore stage are Jimmy Eat World [7/10], who provide a pleasant break from all the craziness with their happy and upbeat melodies that you can't help but sing along to. They may seem tame compared to the bands usually on stage here, but they show exactly why they deserve the slot with classics such as Bleed American and The Middle to which everyone knows the words. Their cheerful, friendly persona also keeps keeps the crowd amused, and with the sun shining down you almost forget that you're actually at a metal festival in the UK. They cover a good setlist consisting of their most well known songs and show a lot of spirit; the exact two qualities that you want at a festival.

Second stage headliners Enter Shikari [9/10] may seem like an odd choice surrounding all the heavy metal and deathcore bands with their electronic drum and bass sound, but they put on a spectacular show to possibly the most hectic crowd yet. When they come on stage to System... Rou Reynolds is almost inaudible due to the whole crowd chanting along and when ...Meltdown kicks in the energy that many people must have been conserving all day is released in the form of several gigantic and chaotic circle pits. They only break off for a moment so that people can clap along to Sorry, You're Not A Winner and then continue again at full force. Later this all proves to be the calm before the storm, as during Juggernauts and Gandhi Mate, Gandhi there are such an overwhelming number of crowd surfers that security are gasping for breath and you're lucky if you don't take a wellington to the face. When they debut their new song, Radiate, you can't even tell that no one has heard it before, because everything is just as insane.

Infamous for being, well, absolutely mental live, the band also keep everyone visually entertained with several antics: Rou jumps into the crowd not once, but twice, Rory gets people to balance him on top of his guitar and throws his One Direction cake at them after everyone sings "happy birthday". By the time they finish their set with Zzzonked the crowd has significantly decreased in size due to most people crowd surfing or being too scared to subject themselves to the carnage, but it's still a workout to move your arms and Enter Shikari still manage to blow things up all over again, more than exceeding their reputation as one of the best live bands today.

Of course, after such an ecstatic performance, everyone is wondering just how crazy main stage headliners Iron Maiden [9/10] are going to be, and they set expectations high by flying a real RAF Spitfire over the crowd before the show. Twenty-five years after they headlined Donnington Monsters Of Rock in 1988, naturally their setlist is a slightly updated version of Maiden England which they played back then. They helped define the metal genre for millions, and watching them walk on stage is a surreal and unforgettable experience to which the roar of the crowd is agonisingly loud, and remains it for some time. Consisting of classics such as Number Of The Beast and 2 Minutes To Midnight, Iron Maiden prove why they are so highly regarded by both bands and fans, and equally that there is no age limit on metal. The crowd ranges from old metalheads who reminisce of seeing them back in the day, to teenagers pitting out of respect for the band that shaped the bands they love, to kids in oversized Iron Maiden shirts on their parents' shoulders. All of them know the words, and all of them know why. This band are massive, and seeing them live is a truly special experience. The singalong to Fear Of The Dark is particularly entrancing and hypnotic; it feels like everyone is part of one big family.

Of course, them being headliners, the show is spectacular too. Not to mention the Spitfire, there are plenty of costume changes, lots of pyrotechnics, several appearance from their icon Eddie, as well as Bruce Dickinson running around the stage with a Union Jack, demonstrating pride and a sense of unity to everyone here. He's still passionate and still a great frontman, and for those who don't know the band all that well his theatrical moves provide comedy value.

Their encore of Aces High, The Evil That Men Do and Running Free following a patriotic speech by Winston Churchill is simply epic, showing everyone exactly why they are still relevant as headliners. Of course, Maiden being Maiden, they would be brilliant either way considering their status, but despite a few initial sound issues they put on an absolutely incredible performance showing everyone that they definitely have still got it. 

Live Review: Download Festival 2013 Friday 14th June

It's a typical rainy June day in Derbyshire and 90000 people are crammed into a muddy field . This can only mean one thing: Download Festival is back for another year of moshing, headbanging and chaos.

After being unable to perform last year due to the diabolical weather conditions, Rise To Remain [6/10] finally get the opportunity to open the main stage today and consequently the entire festival, and they do a pretty good job. Whilst most people in the crowd aren't here for them, Austin Dickinson's positive attitude encourages no hesitance to open up several mosh pits within the first few lines of Heartless. He embraces the crowd as friends, and openly admits his awareness that the majority of them do not know any of their songs. He is not perturbed by this aspect in the slightest and his optimism encourages most people to chant the words "over and over" along to their new song, Over and Over. By no means does their performance stand out as anything special,  but it's enough to get everyone hyped for the next three days and anxious to release more energy.

Second come Brighton boys, Architects [7/10], who walk on stage and burst straight into Alpha Omega.  No strangers to the British metal scene, the band are greeted with the acclamation of mosh pits to which vocalist Sam Carter is delighted. Things get even more crazy when the band debut the live version of their new stunningly heavy track Black Blood and all hell breaks lose. Every song that follows is also performed with as much force and malevolence, making their sole 30 minutes on stage unforgettable. Whilst Sam's stage persona remains aggressive as is typical of the genre, he comes across as a very genuine guy and shows his appreciation by sincerely thanking the crowd for their enthusiasm after they play their final song, These Colours Don't Run, where the crowd energetically show that they haven't yet released all their mentality.

Performing for the first time on the main stage, Asking Alexandria [6/10] prove that they are now certainly  worthy of this position. Danny Worsnop's vocals seem to improve with every show and he also seems genuinely happy to be here. A definite bonus coming from an infamous egomaniac. The crowds' shouts along to their lyrics are deafening, being particularly energetic when they play their most recognised hit, The Final Episode and lyrical beauty Someone, Somewhere. Things get even more exciting when they play their new, more mature songs The Death Of Me and Run Free, as more people are influenced to join in the excitement. Their only fault is the lack of heavier crowd favourites Not The American Average and A Prophecy, a definite mistake in front of a crowd consisting of a lot of older metalheads who are reluctant to be convinced that the likes of Asking Alexandria are to be taken seriously.
Over at the smaller Pepsi Max stage, Motionless In White [6/10] grace the stage in the late afternoon to a surprisingly small crowd, despite the number of people around sporting their t-shirts. Thankfully Chris Motionless is no man to be disheartened by such a thing and the band pack as much punch as if they were playing the final night of a headlining, sold-out arena tour. They open with Devil's Night, instantly exciting the crowd, resulting in the muddy ground shaking and the bass violently echoing outside of the tent. Other favourites such as Abigail are also delivered with passion and received brilliantly by the crowd, and everyone is satisfied, if worn out, when they end with the final chords of Immaculate Misconception.

Of course, it would be difficult for any band to open for main stage headliners Slipknot, but Bullet For My Valentine [8/10] do so perfectly. This being their seventh time playing Download Festival, they are welcomed by the dedicated Donnington crowd. With their chugging guitar riffs, flawless breakdowns and Matt Tuck's stylised metal vocals, they subsequently demonstrate to everyone that they themselves are more than ready to headline in the near future. They control the crowd easily; providing material for both old and new fans, their setlist varies from classic Waking The Demon to title track of their newest album Temper Temper. Needless to say, when the band end their set with Tears Don't Fall the crowd chanting along is deafening and almost mesmerising.

During the interlude between Bullet and Slipknot, a few tears are shed as the fans pay tribute to the fallen of the last year including Mitch Lucker, Ray Manzarek, Jeff Hanneman and Chi Cheng; all who are met with ear-splitting applause and cheers. Just another example that, unlike at other festivals, the crowd are here because they honestly love the music.

A huge white curtain hiding the stage from sight whilst Slipknot's haven is constructed, everyone's becoming a bit restless with anticipation. When an obscure, country tune (Billie Jo Spears' Get Behind Me Satan And Push) starts to play, many people seem a bit confused, but as the curtain falls the roar of the crowd is agonising as Slipknot [10/10] walk on stage to Disasterpiece for the first time since 2009. An explosion of fireworks, flames and masked members running around each other going mental, it's impossible to decide where to look, or what to do except jump, scream and hope you don't get crushed by the 7ft bearded man moshing beside you.

Their epic 1 hour 50 minutes set consisting of 20 songs makes everyone else seem a bit mediocre, but it's the devoted crowd who truly make their performance. The singalongs to anthems such as Wait and Bleed, Before I Forget and Pulse Of The Maggots are loud and chaotic, and on two occasions things get so insane that the barricade is broken. Rather than continuing because he's too metal to interrupt his show for the sake of a barrier, Corey Taylor instantly stops, insisting that no one will be hurt as long as he's around and gets everyone to shut up and step back so that Geoffrey the security guy can fix it. Often regarded as the "God of Download", he is the only frontman who holds this much power. He speaks and 90000 people revert to silence. But he respects them as much as they respect him, and talks to them as old friends. He even connects with everyone emotionally, as he tells the crowd that they're going to sing a song for their lost brother, Paul Gray, who is there with them all tonight and he dedicates Duality to him, which receives the biggest and most beautiful singalong of the weekend.

Naturally, some of the famous highlights from their incredible 2009 headlining set are repeated, including the rampageous "jump the fuck up" at the beginning of Spit It Out. Everything is so hectic and exciting that nobody even minds when it starts to rain during Psychosocial, in fact it's somewhat surreal. When the band walk off stage leaving nothing but a hypnotic, burning Slipknot 'S', everyone is absolutely overwhelmed by what they've just experienced but it doesn't take the adrenaline-fueled crowd long to realise that they want more and the "SLIPKNOT, SLIPKNOT, SLIPKNOT" chants echo around the arena. They return and blow the place up with (sic), People =Shit and Surfacing leaving everyone feeling euphoric before Corey tells the fans that Slipknot will see them again, a lot sooner than they think.

Slipknot were simply legendary, and successfully left people wondering what the other headliners could possibly do to be as good as them. They smashed Donnington to pieces, an immaculate opening to the weekend resulting in an uncontrollable ecstasy for the next few days.

Post festival depression

I returned home from Download festival in Donnington Park on Monday night. It was the first music festival I'd ever been to and it was absolutely surreal.

I went for the full five days, a bit of a risk since I'd never even been camping before, but I found that I coped remarkably well. Showers are overrated, the toilets were nowhere near as bad as people hype them to be, I found myself mostly overheated opposed to freezing and surviving on nothing but bags of Skips wasn't all that bad.

Whereas I don't miss lying on the cold, hard ground not being able to sleep due to people wandering around at 3am in search of lighters and cocaine, I'm really struggling to re-adapt to reality. The place felt like home to me; I was surrounded by the music I love and people who love it too. If I believed in heaven, this is exactly what I would want it to be (except maybe with a bit more sun).

My whole life, I'd never really felt like I belonged anywhere. Download was completely different; I was supposed to be there. Now I just feel exceptionally low for no apparent reason. All I want is to be back there in those muddy fields, I wouldn't even care if it was pouring it down with rain. I can't concentrate in lessons and I don't feel like talking to anyone unless it's about Download, especially the part where I met Parkway Drive.

Realising that a lot of people probably feel the same way after coming back to everyday life after Download, and indeed any other music festival, I decided to come up with some solutions that may help you with your own post festival blues:

1) Invest in a new album- yes, you're probably skint after paying a tenner for 6" pizzas and dry fish & chips, but you can easily pick up an older album for less than that nowadays. Treat yourself.

2) Find yourself in photos/videos- whilst looking at photos and videos may be triggering, the goal of finding yourself amongst the crowd provides a nice distraction. At worst you'll get a good few laughs at pictures of hairy men in mankinis.

3) Talk about it- whether it be to your friends or on social media, talk about your experience! Every aspect of it! Don't stop until everyone is jealous of you!

4) Tea & toast- even if you did pay the ridiculous prices for these at the festival, nothing can beat the home versions. Enjoy these simple things.If you don't like tea or toast, swap them for alternatives such as chocolate and coffee.

5) Pee. A lot.- Enjoy being able to go to the toilet without being literally terrified of what you'll find there. You can even wash your hands!

6) Have a one man mosh pit- play your favourite bands albums at an obnoxiously loud volume and dance around your house by yourself. If you like you can even purposely throw yourself into things to make it feel more realistic.

7) Go for a walk- follow a familiar route in your town and just walk. Watching the world go by will help you adjust back to reality.

If anyone has any other tips for getting over those post festival blues, I'd love to hear them in the comments! Reviews of the bands I saw at Download will be coming very soon!